


janus

by thecarlysutra



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4891528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecarlysutra/pseuds/thecarlysutra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>i'm only half a body without your embrace</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	janus

  
_i’m only half a body without your embrace_  
      —Shakira, “Your Embrace”

There’s a fable they tell, a fable about soul mates. At the beginning of the world, the gods cut humans out of the stars. But humans were not as they are today. They had two heads, four arms, four legs. One heart, one soul. 

The gods cut their creations in half, and sprinkled them like stardust over the earth. These humans had two arms, two legs, one head. Half a heart, half a soul.

Because things want to be whole, these humans would cross the earth ever searching for the other half of their heart, the other half of their soul.

It was exhausting business.

***

Wanda lay awake in her dorm in the Avengers facility. Moonlight filtered in through the window, making shadow puppets on the ceiling.

She felt Pietro’s loss like a physical aberration, a hole in the heart.

Nights in Strucker’s lab, they would push their cots together and sleep side by side, the same as they had laid in their crib as infants. 

Now, Wanda’s hand hung off the bed, waiting for another hand to take hers. 

_You were faster than a bullet. You were faster._

***

Wanda hit the dirt. She could hear the whistle of a bullet rush through the space she had just occupied.

Sam cursed over the comm. “These guys are everywhere!”

The dirt was cool. It was safe down here. Wanda wanted to stay.

Rhodey’s voice filtered over the comm. “Everyone on the ground: incoming!”

Wanda ground her teeth, and hauled herself off the ground. She concentrated, raised her hands slowly, red tendrils of energy flowing from her palms—up, up, up.

The guns continued firing, but the soldiers were lifted from the ground, through the crush of trees and up into the sky. Wanda held them all there for a moment, and then dropped them. The soldiers crunched to the forest floor, their weapons silent.

***

Wanda and Natasha walked behind the others en route to transport. 

“You did good today,” Natasha said. 

“Thanks.”

“I know your heart’s not in it yet,” Natasha said, “but you’ve been doing good work.”

“I want to help,” Wanda said. “I want to do good. But...”

“But you don’t feel like and Avenger. Believe me, you kind of have to grow into it.”

Wanda nodded. “Thanks.”

***

Another sleepless night, crying eyes on the ceiling. Wanda twitched her fingers, hands by her sides, and the tears were pushed away. She only wished she had someone there to wipe her tears away for her, instead of using magic.

There was a quiet knock on the door. Wanda shot up, approached the door cautiously.

It was Natasha. She stood there with two steaming cups and a slight smile.

“Thought you might like some tea,” she said.

Wanda let her in. They sat on Wanda’s bed, cups warming their hands.

“Nights are the hardest,” Natasha said, not looking at her. “They’ll get easier.”

“What do you know about it?”

“About loss? Plenty.”

Wanda flinched. She had forgotten, momentarily, the things she’d seen in Natasha’s head. 

“I’m sorry,” Wanda said. “That was unfair of me.”

Natasha shrugged. “You don’t get very far holding grudges, I’ve found.”

Wanda had, for the past few weeks, felt her anger as a cancer burning inside her gut. She couldn’t imagine letting go of it, but she could see what Natasha meant—it would be easy to let the anger grow until it killed her from the inside.

Wanda watched Natasha’s hands around her cup. They were good hands—capable, the same way Wanda’s were. She wondered what else they had in common.

Natasha turned away from her for a moment, but it was only to put her cup on Wanda’s bedside table. Wanda put her own on the floor between her feet, and waited.

Natasha turned back to her. Wanda could read her, but she didn’t need to.

Wanda placed her hands on Natasha’s. Natasha moved toward her, and Wanda’s fingers threaded through Natasha’s hair, pulling Natasha close enough to kiss. The kiss was small, and sweet, and slow, and as they were pulling away Natasha thought, _this doesn’t have to mean anything_. Wanda knew that—but maybe it _would_.  



End file.
